alone_yet_alive

Latest posts from Alone_yet_alive

• When distance feels deeper

  Nov 11 ⎯ The complexity of the mind often stands in the way of finding true connection. The deeper we think, the harder it becomes to meet someone who understands the language of our silence. We crave meaning, not noise — but in that craving, we also mistake intensity for intimacy. Maybe that’s why safety feels sterile and suffering feels sexy. The mind is wired for thrill — it chases uncertainty, it feeds on risk. Predictability feels dull because it doesn’t light up the brain. Stability gives peace, but chaos gives dopamine. And in that chemical confusion, we start believing that pain is passion. The same illusion plays out in love. When someone drifts away, their absence grows larger than their presence ever did. We start missing them, not because they were perfect, but because they’re gone. Scarcity makes the heart race — we confuse unavailability with value. Yet, the truth is simple: what’s hard to reach isn’t always worth holding onto. And then, one day, that same person returns, saying, “I like you.” Suddenly, the spell breaks. The mystery dissolves. The chase ends, and what once felt rare becomes ordinary. It’s strange — how the mind desires what it cannot have, and doubts what comes too easily. We live in that paradox — longing for what hurts, and fearing what heals. Because sometimes, it’s not the person we miss, but the version of ourselves that existed while we were trying to reach them.

• My first post

  Nov 10 ⎯ I’m 21 now — busy, tired, chasing goals. No friends, no company, just silence and a dull ache of loneliness. I don’t even know what I’m chasing anymore. Then one day, I wake up…and I’m 14 again. But this time, I don’t rush. I know what to treasure. Mom comes in, waking me up —“Get ready for school, you’re getting late!” But I don’t yell, I don’t groan. I just listen. Because after that year, no one would ever wake me up again…or tuck me into sleep. I notice everything.I eat my breakfast slowly,savoring every bite -every bit of that simple love. At school, I see my friends.They talk, laugh, call my name —and this time, I don’t avoid them.I talk back with my whole heart. I hug them.I can’t stop smiling — I love them. And then, I see her…the one I haven’t seen in five long years. She looks at me — silent, soft,love shining quietly in her eyes. This time, I dare to talk to her.She’s shy — but there’s beauty in that shy. Evening comes,I play with my friends again —this time, I really feel it. I don’t want the day to end. Before leaving, I notice another girl —the one who would become my best friend,the one I never spoke to back then. But this time, I do.We talk, we laugh,and I realize how beautiful her soul is. Night falls.I lie on my bed,knowing this moment will never come again.And now… I understand what I’ve missed all these years. I don’t want to close my eyes,because tomorrow,I’ll wake up 21 again —alone. But tonight,I found something priceless.This — this was joy.This was love.This was everything. So if you’re living this moment now —don’t rush through it. Those conversations with your friends,those laughs,the mess,the small things you think don’t matter —they matter more than you know. The reason you don’t know what you want…is because you already have it. Don’t take the small moments for granted.